6 Weeks

No, not 6 weeks pregnant (just in case anyone else's mind always jumps straight to pregnancy, mine always does!!). It's been 6 weeks since I last blogged.

It wasn't intentional and it wasn't necessarily because of my last post either. (Thank you all for your sweet words though, each of you made me feel better and brought a smile to my face.) I have been having a hard time of it though. I didn't think putting Max into care would feel any different than leaving him at home with the Big Man each day... I was definitely wrong about that.

It's not that they don't take good care of him, it's just that I miss him like crazy. Max is at such a beautiful age, he wants me close by all the time.

He sits on the floor with his arms up in the air saying 'Mumma' when he wants to be picked up. He laughs and smiles when I do pick him up. He sobs when I don't. He loves to sit outside in the grass and help me garden. He loves it when I read to him. The smiles he gives me when I go into his room first thing in the morning are the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life. My baby loves me and wants me.

He's only going to be a baby once and I really feel like I need to make the most of it. So I have cut back my work from four days down to 2 per week and I've done the same with his daycare. Tuesdays and Wednesdays we spend apart and every other day we get to spend together. Happy Mumma and happy baby!!

Brain Dump

I really don't have it in me to construct a sentences and paragraphs today, so a bullet point brain dump is what you're getting. Sorry.

• The Big Man started a new job on Monday, so I've taken the week off work to look after Max and arrange some childcare for him. The Big Man has been working from home since Max was 10 weeks old and I went back to work. It's a big deal for me, putting him into childcare... But Max and I spent an hour together at the centre on Tuesday and it does seem really awesome. I'm sure he will love it.

• Ever since Max was born I was adamant that Max would go to family daycare when the time came. It wasn't until I actually had to go and find somewhere for him to go that I changed my mind and decided on a childcare centre. It might seem like tough love, but I kind of like the idea that he will have to become a bit more independent and stand up for himself a bit more in a group environment. Mean Mummy?

• The Big Man has been working really long hours for his new job. He's at work again this morning (Saturday) and has already done 60 hours this week. He's going to need to let his boss know that it can't stay like that, we have a baby and a life outside work. He needs balance. His role is a management position, but I still think that they are asking too much of him. A happy and balanced life will allow him to be so much more focused when he is at work anyway...

• This week has been really rough for me. I started out with a cold on Monday morning, but was all better by Tuesday. Then Wednesday night I started to feel really nauseous and off colour. I have spent the last two days (Thursday and Friday) with an upset stomach, vomiting, constant nausea, and no appetite. Nasty. I thought I was feeling better this morning, but as I got up and started playing with Max it hit me again. Max is napping now and I am in bed with my laptop and bucket :(

• Last night I was feeling my worst, but still cooked the Big Man dinner, did his laundry, cleaned the house, vacuumed the floors and moped the bathrooms because I know how hard he has been working and didn't want him to come home to mess and no dinner. Does anyone else get the cleaning bug real bad whenever they get sick? I think it is maybe my subconscious telling me that my surroundings could be making me sick and I need to scrub all the germs away...

• I am so grateful to my truly awesome friend Emma who took Max for two and a half hours yesterday so that I could have a sleep. I owe her big time!

• The cost of childcare is absolutely staggering. At this point I am struggling to work out how we can get ahead whilst paying those kind of fees... Hopefully I get a promotion and start earning some decent money in the very near future.

• I am really missing my sister, my bff Erin and my Hervey Bay girlfriends at the moment. I would love to be closer to them all and be able to catch up with them on a weekly basis.

• I haven't been taking photos lately. In fact I can't remember when the last time I picked up the camera was. You will just have to trust me when I say that Max is still incredibly gorgeous :)

• I have still been reading all of my favourite blogs, but I haven't been commenting much lately. I still love you all and will get around to commenting soon xx
  

Ok, brain dump over for now. I am going to try and get some sleep before Max wakes up again.

The Dog Knows...

Cooper is on the couch in the front living room, waiting for visitors to turn up. Want to know why?

Because I'm cleaning the house...

Cheeky puppy has realised that these days I only clean up when we have visitors coming.

Hmm looks like I should probably make an effort to tidy up a bit more often.

Lately though every spare moment I have I want to spend with Max, not vacuuming the floors. Do most working Mums have this problem?

It's All About Work

***

One of the things that kicked off my mini-break from blogging was an opportunity that came up at work.

A promotion.

One that I knew I wanted, but wasn't sure that I was ready for.

Whilst I was on a five day weekend {one of the perks of being part-time} and out walking with a friend that I work with {Emma} she mentioned that she was being considered for a promotion, but that she also thought that the position was going to be advertised internally.

When I got back to work on the Tuesday I saw that the position had been advertised and that applications were due in by 5pm the next day. Like I said it was a position that I really wanted, but it had come up sooner than I had hoped. I wasn't sure that I was ready to take on extra hours and the added responsibility, and I wasn't sure that I had been back from maternity leave long enough to have proved myself.

I spoke with my supervisor about the role and she encouraged me to give it a shot. She was really positive about it, but also said that even if I didn't get the role this time I would at least have my name out there for next time. I was worried about how Emma would react considering that she had confided in me that she really wanted the job, but after finding out that our company was considering promoting two people I spoke with her and she also encouraged me to give it a go.

So I went home that night and put everything I had into writing the best possible application letter. Submitted it. And then found myself desperately hoping that they would take me seriously and give me an interview.

I week later I did have my interview. I felt confident afterwards that I had given it my best shot. Nervous, but optimistic.

It took a week before I got my answer. Which turned out to be the best possible answer. Both Emma and I were successful and we both got the promotion!

I am so excited! It isn't anything major, but it is a big step up for me and it is definitely one step closer to one of my career goals. Plus it comes with the added bonus that I am still able to work part-time. I'm very lucky to work for an amazing company that truly values work/life balance and I'm excited about what my future there holds.

What Gives?

Sorry for being absent for the last couple of days...

It seems like I only have enough time each day to do a certain amount of things. Generally those things are spending time with my gorgeous family, working, catching up with friends, housework and blogging. None of them are really done to the best of my ability, but I am at least getting them done...

Now I've gone and added exercise into the mix and thrown my life into chaos! By the time I get home from my evening walk {super fast work thanks to the incredibly fit Emma, who I am trying to keep up with} all I want to do is lie on the couch and then crawl into bed.

I figure {hope} it will only take a couple of weeks before I notice an increase in my energy levels and then I will be able to fit everything again.

Anyway I'm off of to clean the house. Happy Friday everyone xx

Good Morning

I woke up this morning thinking that I started work at 9am. After checking my calendar I realised that I don't start until 10. Happy Days! I love lazy mornings, plenty of times for reading blogs and cuddling Max :)



Image from here.

Ups and Downs

***

One of the things that has really surprised me since having Max is how different any two days can be. One day Max can be an absolute angel and the very next day a monster!

Yesterday I got lucky and Max was in one of his great moods. He was happy and smiley all day, napped really well and the highlight was when I took him grocery shopping and he laughed and smiled at strangers from the capsule on the trolley. It was so sweet, baby smiles can melt even the coldest of hearts!

Today I was back at work and the Big Man was not so lucky with Max. By the time the two of them picked me up after I finished work the Big Man was exhausted. Apparantly Max spent the entire day crying, wanting to be held and refusing to sleep. Not nice Max! I'm not sure what was going on with him today, but it was like he was a completely different baby.

I'm hoping that tomorrow he reverts back to his usual smiley self. If he repeats the monster behaviour too many times I'm not sure that the Big Man will be as happy about looking after him while I work.

Crossing my fingers!

T xx

A Busy Weekend

***

My first week back at work was topped off by a busy weekend as well and I am now officially exhausted.

On Friday night, the Big Man, Max and I drove over an hour to the other side of Brisbane to help celebrate our friend Doug's 30th Birthday. As we always do when we catch up with this particular group of friends, we had a blast! Because I started work at 7am the next morning we weren't able to stay late and the Big Man needed to stay sober so that he was in a good frame of mind to take care of Max the next day. The Big Man was a bit disappointed that he wasn't able to let loose and drink with the boys, but I think that being a Dad outweighed his feeling of missing out!

After I finished work the next day I went to my companies Sales Awards Night. It was my first night out without Max and the Big Man... I had a great time, but by 10pm I was ready to come home to my boys :)

One thing that I found really interesting was realising how different some of my collegues are outside of work. I guess when people have a few drinks they feel like they can relax and show more of themselves!

I had a great weekend, but I was so glad to have Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off to catch up on my sleep. (How old does that make me sound!!).

T xx

My First Week Back

***
I survived my first week back at work... and I even managed to enjoy myself!

I had a bit of a rocky start though. By 10am on my first day I was in tears in the bathroom, well not just tears... huge racking, slightly hysterical sobbing. Definitely not my finest moment.

When I left for work in the morning I asked the Big Man to keep his phone close by because I would be calling at morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea to see how Max was doing. So when he didn't answer on my first break I kind of (totally) lost it. I went back to my desk and tried to be brave, but I couldn't keep it together.

Whist I was in the bathroom I managed to get hold of the Big Man - after I sent him the following text message: why didn't you answer? If you don't call me in the next 20 minutes I will be coming home, which will mean I probably get fired. Which will probably happen anyway seeing as I'm in the bathroom crying instead of working - overly dramatic much!

Anyway the Big Man told me that he was doing fine and Max was perfectly happy :). So I dried my eyes and went back my desk.

After that I settled down heaps and didn't have any other dramas. At the end of my first day I felt really happy, which made me realise that I've made the right choice to go back.

T xx

Going Back to Work

***

Yep, I'm doing it. After I had Max I ummed and arred about whether or not I would be going back, I made my mind up about the time he stopped sleeping all day... Jokes!

Seriously though I love being a Mum, but I'm also really looking forward to going back to work. So next Tuesday I go back. 3 days a week, 8 hours a day.

Ten bucks says I'll be crying my eyes out by 10am. But I'll make it through. I'm sure that coming home to a beautiful smiling boy will make it all ok!

T xx

Yesterday afternoon I had my first trip out of the house without Max. The Big Man and I went grocery shopping and left the little guy with his Aunty Jenny. It went really well, and I only cried twice.... the first time I was checking the Big Man's iphone for a twitter update from Jen and saw Max on the screensaver (which made me miss him like crazy), the second time was when Jen tweeted to say that Max was awake and a bit sad. The folks at Aldi probably think I'm a nutter :)

It went fine though and Max wasn't even crying when I got home. Doesn't mean that I am in a hurry to be away from him again though, I think I will still keep him nice and close as much as possible!

We went out again today (the Big Man, Max and I), we took Max to my work so that I could show him to all of my work mates. He was great, he was passed around from person to person and only started to get a bit grumpy after about half an hour. I spent most of my pregnancy at work so it was really nice to be able to share him with my team mates.

Now we're back at home, he's bathed, well fed and having a nap.

I love being a Mum!

T xx

I LOVE presents

I've noticed that I don't talk much about work here at My (not so) Perfect Life. I'm not really sure why that is, maybe because I don't want to bore people or cross any lines... I'm not sure.

Anyway, I do have a job and I absolutely love it. I work in sales within a large company, it's a really competitive job, but also a really rewarding one. The company that I work for works really hard to make our work place fun and team spirit amongst the sales teams is really high. The team I work in is made up of some really amazing and kind people. I haven't been the most reliable employee over the last couple of months, with health dramas (an update on these down the track, I promise), labour scares and general pregnancy exhaustion.... but the team keeps on boosting me up, covering for me when they need to and generally being really supportive.

Last week at our monthly meeting/team bonding session they took things one step further in the awesome stakes and presented me with a basket overflowing with baby things. How nice are these people!? I was so overwhelmed and only just managed to hold back the tears (pregnancy hormones!).

The basket included all sorts of baby goodies, singlets, onesies, wipes, toys, baby blankets, beanies, face washers, bathtime essentials, socks and more! Seriously the best team in the world! It was so thoughtful of them and they managed to pull it off as a surprise, I had no idea that they were organising anything. Although that probably says more about how self absorbed I am!


In general my work has been really good as well. They have agreed to let me have 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave even though I am not technically eligible for it and am still within my six months probation. They have also let me cut my hours back to part-time for the last four weeks before I go on leave.

I do realise how lucky I am to have this kind of support in the workplace. Once I have had this baby and am ready to go back to work, I plan to do them proud!

T xx

Random Bits and Pieces

It's been ages since I last blogged and so much has been going on. Rather than ramble on for hours, I am going to turn to trusty bullet points to get you all up to speed* :)

• We decided to call our little cat 'Oliver'. He really is the sweetest little guy and has a very, very laid back personality. Nothing has really phased him yet, not the big angry cat across the road, not Little Miss Ava carrying him around for almost two days straight, not Cooper, not anything really :)

• Cooper and Oliver are best friends already and sleep cuddled up with each other every night. I'm sure they would both rather sleep smooched up with me, but the Big Man wont let them in our room at night. He's a restless sleeper and Oliver loves pouncing on feet!

• We have been slaving away in our garden and we've almost finished all of the landscaping in the front yard. Next we need to get stuck into the backyard. Sometimes I fantasize about hiring a landscaper and coming home one day to find everything finished...... but I don't think that I can justify it (especially since I really do love gardening).

• We still haven't done much in the way of finishing the inside of our house, but we've given ourselves until Christmas to have everything done, so at least we have a deadline now.

• I have given up my bartending job and am going to do some work for the Big Man's parents until I decide what I want to do next. I really loved working at the Pub and I made some great friends that I will keep for life, but I think I'm ready to move on to something new.

• We have a few major things going on right now that I am not quite ready to talk about..... I will keep you posted as there should be some major changes coming this way soon!

• Other than that not much is going on, I'm still spending way too much time poring over design blogs and dreaming about all of the things I will do to the house once my money tree has grown a bit more**

It feels good to be back!!

xx Tam

* This has nothing to do with the fact that I am too lazy to construct legible and interesting paragraphs.

** Ok, I don't actually have a money tree........ and if I did I probably wouldn't blog about it just incase you all work out where I live and climb my fence and steal my money tree.........

The First Time

Lightening (one of my fav bloggers) answered these questions earlier today and then sent out and open invitation for other bloggers to do the same. Seeing as I love filling out questionnaires I thought that I would give it a go!

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?

It wasn't a prom because I live in Australia, but when I was in year eleven I went to my boyfriends year twelve formal. My mum made me my dress and it was a gorgeous blue Chinese style gown (I still have it in my wardrobe, but I don't think I will ever fit into it again!).

2. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Midori. I didn't realise that you were supposed to mix it with soft drink..... needless to say I ended up very drunk and vomited all through my (then) best friend's room. Which caused her Mum to harbor very ill thought towards me for a very long time :(

3. What was your FIRST job?

My first paying job was a paper run when I was 12. On my first day I got up at 4am in the morning and rolled up all of my newspapers and then stacked them all up on my bike, got on my bike and promptly fell off. My Dad tried to help me out with better ways to stack them, but we couldn't get it to work. So we loaded all of the rolled papers into his car and he drove along whilst I threw them out of the window. We continued to do this together every Wednesday and Friday morning for the next two years. God bless my Dad!

4. What was your FIRST car?

An early 1980s Holden Camira, it was a really daggy car. But I bought it for myself and I absolutely loved it! I was so proud to be independent :)

5. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?

My friend Jacqui texted me at 8.05 this morning, but because I had (still have) a hangover I didn't get the message until I turned my phone on at 11.

6. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?

Does The Pooper count as a person? He woke me up with cute puppy kisses around 10.30. I gave him extra breakfast to say thanks for letting me sleep in!

7. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?

I can't for the life of me remember, but I do have happy memories from my first year of school, so she must have been pretty good. Maybe my Mum will remember what her name was......

8. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

My first ever plane ride was when I was seven years old and my Mum, Dad and little sister all flew to Australia on our way to Papua New Guinea.

9. Who was your FIRST best friend, and are you still friends with him / her?

A girl called Christina Jury. We lived down the street from each other in Hamilton, NZ. We stayed in contact after I left New Zealand, but I lost touch with her sometime in my teens.

10. Who was your FIRST kiss?

My first kiss was with a boy called Troy and it was really gross. Thankfully my husband is a much better kisser!

11. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

The Big Man.

12. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?

I went and found The Big Man and gave him a big hug.

13. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

It was a Silverchair concert. They actually came to Hervey Bay, so it was a really big deal. I had a ball :)

14. What was your FIRST tattoo or piercing?

I had my ears pierced when I was eight and three quarters. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced. When I turned 21 I had my belly button pierced and it was the second most painful thing I have ever felt. NB. I still wear earrings, but have definitely grown out of the belly button stage.

15. What was the FIRST foreign country you went to?

Australia.

16. What was the FIRST movie you saw in the theater?

It was Space Balls and an older girl that was a family friend took me. I felt so grown up to be at the movies without any adults. But I don't think I really understood the movie though.

17. When was your FIRST detention?

I don't actually recall specifically when I had my first detention but it was probably in year nine and ten. It definitely would have been given to me by Mr Wu, that man had some sort of crazy vendetta against me.....

18. What was the FIRST state you lived in?

Queensland. I love the Sunshine State!

19. Who was the FIRST person to really break your heart?

A guy called Darren. He was my first boyfriend after high school and he was 10 years older than me. I don't know what I saw in him, he was an absolute loser and was fresh out of jail when I met him. Our ideas of what love involved were very different and he was the first (and unfortunately not the last) man to hit me.

20. With whom was your FIRST date?

It was with my first true boyfriend. A guy named Robert who was also my first love. He didn't have his licence yet so his Mum drove us to the movies :)

21. What was your FIRST pet?

Mum and Dad had a huge cat called Leppy Puss and he was there from the time I was born until we moved to Papua New Guinea. He was a huge cat, he was bigger than me until I got to about 10 months old.

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?

My first roommate was the a fore mentioned evil boyfriend.

23. Who was your FIRST love?

Robert. We dated for about a year whilst I was in high school and even talked about getting married one day. I'm pretty sure he ended up married to the next girl he went out with after me :)

24. What was your FIRST screen name?

Mixie. I still use it from time to time, it's also one of the Big Man's pet names for me. Awwwwww

25. When did you have your FIRST baby?

Does the Pooper count? No? Ok then, no children and not yet pregnant..... But definitely trying!

That was fun!! Don't forget to check out Lightening's answers and if you fill it out for yourself leave me a comment so that I can see what you wrote :)

xx Tamsyn

Our Family Home

The Big Man, The Pooper and I finally have our home to ourselves. It still feels special :) We wake up in the mornings, as a married couple, in our own home, on our own. I'm loving it!

It's not that I didn't love having my BFF stay with us, or that I didn't like having a steady stream of pre and post wedding visitors. But it does feel great to be married and living on our own. Kind of makes me feel like a grown up!

It's more about the fact that where we were living was such a horrible place for me. We went back to the shop/house a couple of afternoons ago to do a walk through with the landlord and hand over our keys and it was at that point that I realised how much negativity I associated with living there. It was just one of those places that slowly, but surely sucks the joy out of your life.

The negativity started on the first Sunday after we leased the place. I was there on my own whilst the Big Man was out and about (at the hardware store I think). There was a knock at the door and I assumed it was one of the neighbours coming to say hi. The man at the door was visibly angry and demanded to see 'the old bloke'. I (naively thinking that he would leave once I explained that he was mistaken) told him that we had just moved in and that my fiance was only young and not the man he was after. The guy got really angry and called my a 'lying b***h'. At that point I started to feel nervous. I explained again that the man he was after must have moved because we were the only people living there now. It was then that the man yelled 'I know that he is here you lying b***h, tell him to come out here and see me, or I will come in there and I will get you. Stop lying to me or I will kill you.' That got me moving..... I slammed the door in his face, sprinted to the back door and locked it and then broke down on the floor bawling my eyes out. I have seen irrational and angry people before and I have felt scared before, but that was a lifetime ago and I was completely caught off guard. I called The Big Man and tried to explain to him what was going on, it took a while because I was hysterical and he thought that I must have cut myself with his new circular saw (that he had banned me from using). When I finally explained to him what was going on he told me to hang on and then hung up the phone. I figured that he was driving straight over, but he called me back in 5 minutes to tell me that he had called emergency and that the police where on their way. Hearing that actually calmed me down and I had the presence of mind to sneak up to the window and write down his car registration and a description of him in case he did a runner.

When the police arrived they did so in a spectacular fashion, three cars pulled up with their sirens blarring and they pulled into the yard blocking the guys car in. Whilst two of the officers quickly worked out the guy didn't have a gun or knife another one came to the door to talk to me. Which set me off again, I couldn't stop crying and it took ages for me to get my story out. About ten minutes later The Big Man arrived and sat with me whilst I talked to the police officer.

The guy out the front was charged with something, I'm not sure what and eventually all of the police left.

A couple of hours later the guilt kicked in for me. I figured that the guy was probably all talk and that I had over-reacted, but I still think that I would take the same course of action if something like that happened again. I also felt bad because he didn't seem very switched on, it turned out the had his girlfriend and kid in the car (which was unregistered) and didn't even realise that if he sat in the yard long enough that the police would catch him.

The policeman came back several months later to go over my statement for the guy's court hearing and he filled me in about the tenant before us. Alan Smith was his name and he had ripped a lot of people off (including the angry guy at the door) before doing a disappearing act. So now I feel angry, frightened and sorry whenever I think about what happened.

The Big Man and I stuck it out at the house anyway because we didn't think it would be long before our house was finished. But our home was delayed so many times and we ended up living there for a year. I hated answering the door though, which was tough considering we were running a business from there and I flat out refused to answer the door after dark.

Now that we are into our beautiful new home I really feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. We have a safe neighbourhood, great neighbours and nothing to fear. Home sweet home.

Sorry if that was all a little bit dark, but I felt the need to get it off my chest. Regular, light hearted content will resume tomorrow!

Tamsyn xx

Super Busy - Quick Update!

Wow - August is turning into a crazy month for me! I have barely had time to think so far this month let alone blog regularly...

Here is what's on the menu this month:

1. Thirty Day Challenge - This is a internet marketing program that I am doing with my sister and tens of thousands of other people around the world. I am loving it and getting so much out if it already, I just wish I had a few spare hours each day to sit down and focus on it.

2. Moving House!!! - We have our walk through tomorrow and from then our builders have two weeks in which to finalise everything and give us the keys :0) Every time I remember that I will be living in my new home before the end of the month I get giddy with excitement!

3. Planning our wedding... yep still working on this. The wedding is less than 7 weeks away now and I still have so much to do. Luckily I have the two best bridesmaids in the entire world (I love you J and Ez).

4. All the usuals as well... working full time, trying to keep my house clean, spending us much time with my family as possible and making time to catch up with my friends.

5. Cooper (The Pooper) - as I type he is head-butting my arm in the hope that I will notice him and throw the ball for him. (Does anyone else have a dog that head-butts them?)

From what I hear I am not alone though.... it seems like August is a busy month for a lot of people this year. At least it won't be a boring month!

T xx