I just had the most horrible experience I have ever had with a doctor today. It was horrific.
I am still sick (nausea, vomiting and diarrhea) and thought that seeing as it has been five days I should probably go and make sure that everything was ok.
Whilst the doctor was asking questions it came up that I have a baby. Here's what unfolded...
Dr Horrible: How old is your baby?
Me: (obviously proud of the fact that I am a Mumma) He's 9 months old
Dr Horrible: Well, where is he?
Me: At daycare. Actually today is his first day!
Dr Horrible: At daycare!?
Dr Horrible: Does he go there all day.
Me: Some days he will be.
Dr Horrible: In a daycare centre, all day?!
Me: Uh-huh, some days.
Dr Horrible: Don't you know that they rarely ever hold babies in daycare centres?
Dr Horrible: Babies need to be held. He is not going to feel loved. You baby needs to feel loved.
Me: (holding back the tears) Well, you see I have a job. I need to work. To pay bills and stuff.
Dr Horrible: And your baby needs to feel loved. He needs to be at home. With you.
I managed to hold back the tears until I got to reception, but then I started bawling to the girls and the front desk. They were really nice and sympathetic, but didn't seem overly surprised. I guess I'm not the first person that has felt judged by her.
I was (and still am) really upset when I got out to the car. I called the Big Man and ended up crying so hard that I threw up in the car.
I just feel so angry and so guilty. Angry that she felt the need to judge me, but guilty because part of me thinks that maybe she is right. I should be at home with Max giving him all the love and attention that he deserves.